Evil Ducks

Last weekend I was cycling around a very popular lake in Dallas. There is a grassy area next to the lake where many geese and ducks tend to congregate. I’m not fond of ducks and I am especially not fond of geese. Geese are big and aggressive and they just don’t like me. As a matter of fact, they usually chase me.

I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with anything. I’ve always found it interesting how very random sights, sounds and smells can bring back memories. This is a memory of a time when I was 6 years old or younger. My grandmothers (I called my great-grandmother “mama” , my grandmother by her first name “Bernadine”) and my step grandfather (Bill) would take me to feed the ducks when I was a child. We would pack a picnic lunch and drive to the day old bakery to buy bags and bags of bread to feed the ducks at the park. On the way to the park we would tear all of the bread into little pieces and put it back in the bags. When we got to the park we were ready for business. Being the age that I was I couldn’t wait to get out of the car with my bread and start throwing it to the ducks watching more and more of them gathering around me. It didn’t occur to me that if I kept dropping the bread at my feet that the ducks would continue to fight to get closer and closer to me. So here I am a very small child and these ducks and geese are fighting and crawling all over each other to get to the bread at my feet. I remember some of the geese were as tall or taller than I was. At some point I looked up and realized that probably 40 or more ducks were after one thing….the bread that was in my hands. I started crying and looked at Mama, she told me to “throw the bread out”. I could barely hear her over the very excited ducks. Again, she is telling me to “throw the bread out”. So I did what she said and grabbed the bottom of the bag and dumped the contents on my feet. As you can imagine, a feeding frenzy began with me in the middle of the main course.

It’s funny how adults find dumb things that children do very funny even when the child is crying. I will admit that if I were to see the same thing happen today that I would probably laugh as well. After the laughing ended, Bill waded through the sea of ducks and geese, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. He carried me back to the car where Mama explained to me that she was telling me to throw the bread out away from me so the ducks wouldn’t get so close. Well that sure made a lot of sense after the fact.

Bill coming out to rescue me from the evil ducks was the beginning of creating the trust that would be used against me the rest of my childhood. It turns out that he was a master of control and so began the grooming of me as his victim.

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~ by Isis on May 27, 2011.

4 Responses to “Evil Ducks”

  1. You are a powerful storyteller. From reading the posts on your blog I can already see the book. Keep writing and the book will form itself.

    • Thank so much for your kind words. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to receive such encouraging feedback.

  2. Your writing is very emotional. Saying I enjoyed reading this sounds wrong, so I’ll say that it got to me.
    Sounds like a terrible experience – but I guess that what happened afterwards was much worse.

    You should consider publishing this, I think.

    • DewNestry, sorry it took me so long to respond, I was out of state for the holiday weekend. Thanks so much for your comments and encouragement. It is my goal to to publish my story and speak to others who have endured abuse. When I was in my teens I was asked on several occasions to speak to teachers, clergy and others to share my story and educate them. I would love to be able to do that again.

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